Searching for Sunshine

As I crossed over the Alabama state line into Florida, fields of green space on either side, I couldn't help but burst into tears. 

I hadn't really thought about it until then. I've made the drive from new home to old home, from familiar to more familiar, so many times. I've crossed the state border in the same place over and over. Every time I do I let out a little squeal, or maybe honk my horn if no one else is around. I'm always excited. I'm always going home. 

This time I felt excited, even through my tears. If anything, I was more excited, and admittedly a little anxious, because it hit me that someday I'll cross that state line with a car full of perfectly packaged newborn supplies. When that day comes, we will cross over into Florida - the state where I was born and raised, the state that was my husbands home for most of his childhood, and the state where we will go to meet one of our children. 

All of this time we've been on our Journey to Judah. We've been waiting for this journey to lead us across the world, and it hit me last week as I was traveling home, that at least for right now, this journey is leading us home. 

The adoption process has broken me. I've had to die to self more than I ever had to before. I've had to continually discern my plans versus God's promises - they are not the same. I've cried more tears, bottled up more bitterness, and readjusted expectations more times than I would like to admit or count. In some ways it seems a little anticlimactic to take a pitstop on this adoption journey, but in more ways it feels like I've known that this would be the plan all along. 

Sometimes God calls us to big things that sound really grand, and we still wait for our BIG around the world journey to come to pass, but sometimes He calls us to a less grand version, that is no less important, like traveling home to the familiar. I don't know much about NASCAR and racing, but I do know that if the drivers don't pull in for a pitstop, for a quick adjustment, fuel, and a few tweaks, they'd never finish the race. 

Are we still called overseas to Judah? Yes, of course, and we are fiercely committed to our Ethiopia adoption. But first we have to make a stop on the Sunshine State. We have to search for our Sunshine to journey on to Judah.