Technology truly is amazing. So much of it I tend to have a love/hate relationship with though. I find my phone in my hands when I really mean to be paying attention to something (or somebody) else. I scroll through the same posts and pictures throughout the day, beaconing someone to post or do something new. But technology also affords us so many wonderful things.
When we found out we were going to be Brighten's parents, I was immediately invited into this whole world of Facebook groups. First Time Mommies, Alabama Mommies, Samford Mommies, Babysitter in Birmingham, and Domestic Adoption Support Group, just to name a few. The last one mentioned has provided for some interesting reading late at night or early in the morning while I'm awake with B (or for no reason at all). It has been encouraging, but I have also learned to mourn with those who are hurting in this crazy adoption world. It's hard, and we need each other. I'm thankful for the gift of technology when it comes to this group.
A few weeks ago, I saw someone post in the Domestic Adoption group that their phone had recently been ruined and they lost all of their text messages, including conversations with their child's birth mother. She was thankful that she had taken screen shots of many of their conversations, so immediately I went to my thread with B's birth mom and screenshotted (is that a word? it is now) everything. From the first few text messages with careful joy on my end to the text of "Come to the hospital now!" as Brighten was about to enter the world. It was fun to go back and read through our short, but meaningful conversations.
This other adoptive mom's post really convicted me to reach out to Brighten's birth mom. Originally we through she'd follow Brighten on Facebook, but she hasn't been on FB for a while, so she hasn't see all of the pictures we post. That night, I sent her a few and told her that Brighten is growing up quickly and is so beautiful. I sent her a picture that showed how beautiful Brighten's eyes are and told her that people ask us about them all the time and we always attribute them to her. She was so excited to hear that and kept asking for more pictures.
Then, she said something that melted my heart: "Thank you for being the best mom to her!" I just stopped and stared at my phone for several seconds, and then my eyes welled up with tears. It was affirmation I didn't know I needed.
Anyone who has been around babies at all knows that these days are so wonderful, but they're long and they're tiresome. Balancing work and parenthood is hard, and sometimes it seems like the end of the day will never come. It's everything that I wanted, but there are difficult days and moments. Jason and my family encourage me all the time that I'm doing a good job being Brighten's mommy, and I couldn't be more thankful for their encouragement in my life. I need it. But I also needed to hear those words from the woman who chose life for Brighten, who made an adoption plan, who placed her in our arms and family. I needed to know that she saw me as B's mom and a good mom at that - the best. I needed to know that she knew she'd made the right decision. On the hard days, in the hard moments, I needed to know that everyone out there knows this is Brighten's best and God didn't haphazardly place her in our family. Of course we all know that, but it means something different for her to know that and express that too.
I'm so thankful that God knows what we need and when we need it well before we ever do. He is so gracious to provide in the sweetest of ways.