Clothes Hoarder

I seriously just sat for about three full minutes trying to come up with that title. I still don't think it does this justice, but oh well, let's move on.

My name is Jessica, and for about four years, I've been hoarding clothes.

I lost quite a bit of weight my sophomore year of college. I was 19 years old. About a year after reaching my goal, I started gaining the weight back because I didn't lose the weight in a way that was maintainable over the span of, oh you know, life.

I've been holding onto the clothes I bought at age 19 for four long years.

For four years I've gone to my closet each morning, looked at these "small" clothes, and had to reach for the "larger" ones instead.

I ran out of room in my closet(s) when Jason and I got married since I had to give one of my closets to him. Even then, I kept the clothes. I stuffed them under our bed or in the guest room closet. I thought that maybe if I didn't have to see them, it wouldn't be as hard to get dressed every morning without thinking about the fact that I couldn't fit into my "small" clothes.

But I still knew they were there.

I believed the lie that these clothes were motivation to lose weight. I thought that I'd eventually fit back into them, and if I just kept trying, I'd get there.

But it wasn't motivation - it was unhealthy.

Four years later, my clothes have caused me more emotional baggage than any inanimate object should.

A few days ago, I decided that I'd had enough. I'm a journey that is physical as well as emotional, mental, and spiritual. Why am I letting pieces of fabric stop that process? Why am I letting clothing slow me down?

To get to the point where I asked these questions, I had to go back to facing reality.

This is my reality:
  • I haven't fit into those clothes in four years. I may never fit into clothes that 19 year old Jessica wore.
  • I don't really want to wear clothes that I wore when I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college.
  • Most of the clothes aren't even in style anymore
  • None of them would be useful to wear to work.
  • I enjoy shopping. Shopping for new clothes once I reach my goal would be more fun then shopping through old clothes that I've been looking at for years and years. 
  • It would be more fun to throw out the "larger" clothes later and make room for new clothes.
So last night, I dug out all of my old clothes from the bottom of my drawers, the back of my closet, the guest bedroom, and from under our bed. It'll be tough to get rid of hundreds, possibly thousands of dollars worth of clothes, but it will definitely be worth it in the end.

My mom and I decided that it would be a good "reward" to buy myself a new quality piece of clothing every time I reach a milestone. I like that idea :)

Speaking of quality, I had some crappy  cheap looking juvenile clothes. From now on, I may not buy as much, but I'm definitely going to have a quality wardrobe over a large one.

What is holding you back right now?

What baggage do you have that is standing in the threshold of you really accomplishing a goal you have?

Get rid of it!! Don't let things stand in your way on your own journey! 

Our guest room last night.
Left side is going to be given away. Right side is going to be consigned.
My favorite store is having a big sale right now.
Check out LOFT if you're in need of some new, quality pieces!!!


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Posted on June 28, 2013 and filed under "shopping", "where I'm going".